Politics

'When Queen goes, let's become a republic and consign backbiting Windsors to history'


Brian Reade marks Barbados becoming a republic by musing that it’s time for Great Britain to follow suit when the Queen passes away

"The current House of Windsor appears to be a backbiting bitchfest where everyone spins and lies to curry favour"
‘The current House of Windsor appears to be a backbiting bitchfest where everyone spins and lies to curry favour’

I can’t say that I’ve ever been jealous of the people of Barbados.

Sure, they have fabulous weather and beaches, but how could you relax knowing any minute Simon Cowell might slice you in half with his jetski? That’s a bad way to go.

However, this week I was green with envy as Barbadians held a massive shindig to celebrate becoming a republic. Rihanna dazzled as Prince Charles sweated and waffled about the “atrocity of slavery” while the British state he will soon be the head of refuses to pay reparations to the descendants of those slaves.

Not that he’d have a say in it. In fact, despite the weird letters he sends to ministers pushing his wacky causes and protecting the £22million he earns annually from the Duchy of Cornwall, he won’t have a real say in anything when he’s king. He’ll be as pointless as the valet he pays to put toothpaste on his brush.







Prince Charles watched Barbados become a republic this week
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Image:

Getty Images)

I won’t join the royalist orgy next year when the Queen’s reign hits 70 but I’ll admit the plaudits she’ll receive for dedicating herself to the service of her country will be well deserved.

The problem for us Republicans is that she has infantilised a nation whose older citizens cling to the black-and-white Britain she links us to, like Jacob Rees-Mogg to his nanny’s apron. But she will be gone soon and when she is, would it be too much to ask for an honest debate about whether the monarchy should go too?

Would it be such a bad thing for us to work out if we’d like to follow the path of other grown-up democracies, like Barbados, and elect our head of state rather than have the next royal accident of birth imposed by this one family?

Imagine what we could do with all those palaces, not to mention the £350 million a year it costs to let them live like dukes and princesses. What a farce those titles are.







Charles met with Rihanna in Bridgetown, Barbados, to mark its transition to a republic
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Daily Mirror/Ian Vogler)







‘The Sussexes of Montecito, California, have as much claim on Sussex as my Romanian rescue dog’
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Image:

Getty Images)

The Sussexes of Montecito, California, have as much claim on Sussex as my Romanian rescue dog. Same with the Cambridges and the Kents. As for the Yorks, what has that fine city done to deserve the gruesome twosome Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson taking its name? What priceless gall the royal spinners have, painting Meghan Markle as the spawn of the devil, then whistling into the wind when the grand old Duke of York’s name comes up.

I think we’d be doing the Royals a favour because judging by the recent two-part BBC documentary on the princes, they look as miserable as sin, while most of them resent us for prolonging their goldfish bowl existence.

The current House of Windsor appears to be a backbiting bitchfest where everyone spins and lies to curry favour. And for what? They hate the press, the BBC, makers of The Crown and each other almost as much as doing a proper job.

So when the Good Ship Lizzie sails into the sunset, why not let all the Royals, like the Montecito miserabilists (who have no problem with The Crown when Netflix bungs them £112m) Find Freedom. Permanently.

We have nothing to lose but our tugged forelocks.

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