THESE days, the F-word is banned.
No, not that one. The three-letter one that refers to someone who can’t stop eating doner kebabs.
Thankfully, you can’t fat-shame a car — because there’s no other word for it.
This is the Toyota Highlander, a super-sized, seven-seat SUV with a turning circle to rival the Ever Given.
It makes the Aygo look like Playmobil.
The Yanks and Japanese love a Highlander. But now, for the first time, you can get one on these shores.
So, we know it is B-I-G. But is it any good?
The short answer is yes.
It’s quiet, efficient, easy, super-comfy, spacious, swimming in kit and surprisingly easy to place on the road.
It soaks up our underfunded roads nicely and the rear-view camera makes it a doddle to reverse and park.
But it is a little pricy at £50k.
Unlike the others, however, you won’t spend long on the configurator because there’s only one engine and two high-spec trim levels to choose from: Excel or Excel Premium.
The engine, as you’d expect from Toyota, is a petrol-electric hybrid.
Of course it is. And it’s a good one because it doesn’t need topping up with a plug.
The battery pack recharges on the go and works seamlessly with the 2.5-litre engine to automatically switch between electric and dino fuel when setting off and cruising.
There’s also an EV button which enables you to do short distances purely on electrons.
My testing averaged 37mpg, which is decent for such a big girl.
I will say the cabin lacks the sparkle of some rivals — not helped by the naff touchscreen and Casio calculator buttons — but otherwise it is sturdy and functional and you’ll want for nothing.
Heated this, heated that, leather, veneer trim, big glass panoramic roof, Apple CarPlay, adaptive cruise control, wireless phone charging.
Plus, there’s more storage than in Mary Poppins’ handbag.
The Excel Premium adds head-up display and not much else.
Also, this car is truly, genuinely a seven-seater, not a five-plus-two.
There are two adult-sized seats in row three and they’re perfectly usable as long as the sliding middle seats are pushed forward . . . and you are not wearing a huge wedding dress.
With all seven seats in use, however, the boot is no bigger than a supermini, at 332 litres.
But that almost doubles to 658 litres with five seats up — big enough for a washing machine.
And with all the rear seats folded down, you could holiday in it (1,909 litres).
It’s fair to say that no one does little and large, XS to excess, quite like Toyota.
Tiny cars. Sensible hybrids. Sports cars. Pick-up trucks. Vans.
You name it, you can do Asda or Antarctica in a Toyota and it won’t let you down.
That’s ultimately why you’d have a Highlander.
Same rock-solid reliability as a Land Cruiser but more family-friendly.
It is a LOT of car.
FORD RANGER WILDTRAK
Price: £33,891 excl. VAT
Engine: 2-litre turbo diesel
Power: 213hp, 500Nm
0-62mph: 9 secs
Top speed: 112mph